dan ryan

Day 1 - yoga and meditation 

7.25 miles walking  3.75 miles running (9 min/mile) 500 ft elevation  10 pull-ups  160 pushups

Beginning Yoga - 75 minutes  Running Treamill - 5 miles (4 miles running (7.0-8.6 mph) .5 incline; 1 mile walk/jog uptown 40% incline) - 45 minutes  #wtm2019

Datapoints continue to accumulate signals of slowing  http://www.calculatedriskblog.com/2018/11/california-existing-homes-in-october.html

Showing up is THE point.  Why would it ever matter if you won a game?  We are making meaning and we have all the power to lift one another up. At the end of the day what good is a ‘victory’ when there is no one to celebrate with.  I will share my trials with others which to others will be many losses than wins. Yet to me, it was all gain.  Fighting the fight with not against. 

As I wake this morning, I know few things other than People are. Embrace oneself and others. 

Do you know that you are a wonder that is to be cherished? 

I wake this morning with a twinge of....

Reconsidering the US-Saudi relationship

As I am working through Ray Dalio’s new book - I watched his 2013 video. It’s does a good job setting the table. I do think that it glosses over the value and role of credit in productivity gains. 

I am wrestling with how we (humans) determine which activities to ‘invest’ in. This choice includes the decision not to invest in other activities.  The language used here is intentionally fluid but due to my background will primarily come from economics and to lesser extent sports/wrestling/coaching. I hope to create enough space to be accessible to all regardless of background.  Invest(ment) - this is meant to be broader than, while inclusive of, business/monetary investment. It is where we spend our resources.  Resources - all items of utility, including but not limited to time, energy, cash, physical capital and influence. As an individual, I consider time the most valuable as the amount is an uncontrollable variable with a finite range. As an enduring human society, time’s value is diminished due to its virtual infinite range. This is not to say that the earth or human society is infinite, rather to acknowledge the virtual certainty that no one alive today will experience its en

Vanity :  (from Merriam-Webster) 1 :  inflated pride in oneself or one's appearance  :  CONCEIT 2 :  something that is vain, empty, or valueless 3 a :  DRESSING TABLE b :  a bathroom cabinet containing a sink and usually having a countertop 4 :  the quality or fact of being vain 5 :  a fashionable trifle or knickknack 6 a :  COMPACT   entry  3  sense a b :  a small case or handbag for toilet articles used by women

Water is a force of wonder.  It brings all.  As it falls from my eyes I shudder.  I have dreams deep in my soul that do not align with my measured self.  Last night I ran to my slumber seeking the love and companionship of the past, maybe a dream with soothe my ache.  Two years have past 10.5.16.  Juce  I have been on a journey.  I am thirsty.  I hope 

Throughout my childhood, I had a recurring and persistent stream of consciousness. I would never described the recurring experience as such. In fact, I would have never spoke of it at all, let alone crystallize it through definition. Through what I consider hindsight along with reimagined, this steam created the full spectrum of ‘emotional’ environments and experiences from near ecstasy to soul crushing depression, calming to disquieting, intense to indifferent, etc. It inspires and sustains me that we (humans) have this incredible gift. The marriage of the routine with the haphazard gives us multiple paradigms to have intense meaning while creating a space of rest where engagement is not simply optional rather the concept of engagement is absent removing any sense of duty or regret. On to the recurring experience. As I have only lived in my head, I cannot say how others think but I would describe how I think is I have a voice that is in constant dialogue with itself that I imagine t

I endeavor to be my best self. One of the areas that I am very conscious of is self soothing rather than soothing from others. I would have claimed that I did not seek or need such soothing from others because I was so saturated in it. I received a constant flow of positive affirmation and validation, in which I created the false narrative that it was superfluous and I was a ‘self-starter’ or ‘self-motivated’. This was NEVER true. Because I lived in this narrative, I was unable to make healthy, other oriented decisions. The first step I am taking in self soothing is taking full responsibility for my past behavior as well as my future. I will work to identify my anxieties and develop a ‘tool box’ of practices to alleviate those anxieties without avoiding or dismissing them.  I hope to work through this process, in part, by writing the story of my life to now with hindsight so that I take ownership of how I live in the present.  Note - I am not sure of the origin of self soothing

Such an illusive concept. I have been reading Bell Hooks book “all about love”, which has given me a lot of wonderful ideas to work on. The first is the concept that love is a verb. The second is love is a choice. The third is how expansive love is - Ms. Hooks describes love as “To truly love we must learn to mix various ingredients — care, affection, recognition, respect, commitment, and trust, as well as honest and open communication” We have such an awesome gift to have the opportunity to love today even if we have never before. We may not have that opportunity tomorrow so I hope I embrace it and choose to love rather than hope that I am loved or that love happens.

I wonder how we are so dynamic while having an inexhaustible pull towards stability regardless if the status quo is dreadful and we feel a desire for growth and change? We possess the compassion to ‘save’ one expending resources without restraint yet we have nothing left for the systemic problems. I love our unpredictability and cringe at our callous disregard. I’ll end with the 2019 house budget proposal causes me to cringe. The entire budget is built on the lie that we need to make tough choices to be ‘fiscal responsible’. This is a bigger lie than the Democrats are responsible for family separations at the border. It is completely unintelligible to first reduce income by trillions of dollars, followed by increases in spending in excess of the budget levels set by sequestration (which entire purpose was not continue to grow expenditures in excess of income) then propose a budget that calls for enormous  cuts to Social Security and Medicare, increases to military spending to levels

https://www.nejm.org/doi/pdf/10.1056/NEJMsa1803972

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/the-united-states-is-mortgaging-its-future/2018/04/19/daa35554-4409-11e8-ad8f-27a8c409298b_story.html?utm_term=.eb80818585a5

I am always heartened when there is the possibility of reduction of suffering. This coupled with a reduction of the risk of war is even better. The normalization of North Korea in the world community would be wonderful. I hope that we are willing to partner rather than punish and consider how important it is to respect the terms of the Iran deal to demonstrate good faith that the US honors it’s commitiments regardless of what party is in power. https://www.vox.com/2018/4/20/17264316/north-korea-nuclear-test-site-missile-program-freeze-trump-twitter

As the day breaks from the night, fighting for change, it worries that this change will be overcome with night’s eminent return. It wonders how to live now with death so near.

When we say no to requests? Do we do it with intentionality and purpose?

As a human, I spend a significant amount of time thinking about self actualization. Specifically about the question of giving of oneself to others. I wrestle with question of what are my objectives and motives? Do my actions reflect those objectives and motives, either or neither?

Democrats’ Chances Of Winning The Senate Are Looking Stronger | FiveThirtyEight :

This past month has been very difficult for a variety of reasons. I have sharpened my conviction and understanding of bias. The crystallization that we are ALL biased in ALL things. I am biased in the way that I write this as you are biased in the way that you read this. I have become very frustrated in the fruitless goal of objective discussions in a post (anything) world. For example, I do not believe in a post racial possibility or that there is any value in seeking it. I hope to calmly reiterate through the rest of my days.

Why this economist thinks public education is mostly pointless - Vox : I really like the back and forth on this. I appreciate the discussion and would generally side with Illing but I have always thought that we 'force' people through college and to some extent high school as if they are for everyone being vocational in nature. I don't know exactly how I developed my ability to think but it was a mix of my family experiences with my educational experiences.

Unfortunately you need a subscription to read in full -  https://www.wsj.com/articles/what-cant-be-debated-on-campus-1518792717 This post will respond briefly the condensed Op-Ed 1. What evidence supports that these items cannot be debated? It appears that they are being debated.  2. As noted one may have the right to point out you are a racist   but that doesn’t make it right to do so. How did you come to that conclusion? I have come to that it is right to point out truth as I perceive and live it and we have the opportunity to debate and decide whether your language is a ‘dog whistle’.  3. Why do you elevate your social norms to be the  social norms? This relates, in part, to #1, under my view, you have suffered no consequences due to your political incorrectness, so is this second rebuttal simply because your feelings were hurt that your colleagues won’t have a spot of tea with you?  From my viewpoint, you are in control and have the backing of media, politi

I found the best discussion point around the ‘slippery slope’ argument, which has long bothered me. Where does it stop? Somewhere! Everything stops somewhere. It’s our responsibility to wrestle with where that is?